Have you ever stopped to think about the words you use every day, especially pronouns? We often take for granted the ease with which we refer to people, but the pronouns we use carry immense weight. Choosing and using correct pronouns respects an individual's identity and affirms their existence. Misgendering someone, even unintentionally, can be hurtful and invalidating, leading to feelings of disrespect and marginalization.
Understanding the meaning and usage of pronouns like "she" and "her" is not just a matter of grammatical correctness; it's a matter of basic human decency and inclusivity. In a world striving for greater understanding and acceptance of diverse identities, familiarizing ourselves with pronoun usage is essential. Ignoring or misusing pronouns can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and contribute to a climate of exclusion.
What Does "She/Her" Really Mean?
What are "she" and "her" used to refer to?
"She" and "her" are pronouns used to refer to a female person, animal, or sometimes, an object that is grammatically treated as feminine. "She" is a subjective pronoun, meaning it is used as the subject of a sentence, while "her" is an objective pronoun, used as the object of a verb or preposition, or as a possessive pronoun.
Expanding on that, it's important to understand the different grammatical roles these pronouns play. Consider the sentence, "She gave the book to her." Here, "she" is the subject – the one performing the action of giving. "Her" is used as the indirect object, indicating who received the book. When showing possession, "her" functions like an adjective before a noun, as in "Her car is red." It's important to distinguish between "her" and "hers," where "hers" is the possessive pronoun used independently (e.g., "The car is hers"). Beyond referring to people, "she" and "her" can be used for animals, particularly pets or animals whose sex is known and relevant to the context. Some speakers also traditionally use "she" and "her" to refer to objects like ships, countries, or machines, often reflecting a sense of affection or personification. However, this practice is becoming less common, with gender-neutral pronouns increasingly preferred for inanimate objects. The use of "she" and "her," like any pronoun, hinges on identifying the noun it represents (the antecedent) earlier in the text or through shared understanding between speaker and listener.How do "she" and "her" function grammatically in a sentence?
"She" and "her" are both pronouns that refer to a female person or animal. "She" functions as a subject pronoun, meaning it performs the action of the verb, while "her" functions primarily as an object pronoun, meaning it receives the action of the verb or is the object of a preposition. "Her" can also function as a possessive pronoun (though it is technically a possessive *determiner* in these cases), showing ownership.
To illustrate, consider the sentence, "She gave the book to her." In this sentence, "she" is the subject because *she* is doing the giving. "Her," on the other hand, is the indirect object, as the book is being given *to her*. Consider the sentence, "That is her book." Here, "her" is possessive, indicating that the book belongs to the female being referenced. It modifies the noun "book."
It's important to remember the distinction between subject and object pronouns to ensure correct grammar. Using "her" when "she" is needed (e.g., "Her gave the book") is a common error. Likewise, using "she" when "her" is required (e.g., "I gave the book to she") is incorrect. Understanding the grammatical role each pronoun plays in a sentence is key to effective communication.
When is it appropriate to use "she" and "her" pronouns?
The pronouns "she" and "her" are used to refer to individuals who identify as female or women. "She" functions as the subject of a sentence, while "her" functions as the object of a sentence or as a possessive pronoun.
More specifically, use "she" when the person is performing the action in the sentence (the subject). For example: "She went to the store." Use "her" when the person is receiving the action (the object) or when indicating possession. For example: "I gave the book to her," or "That is her car." It is crucial to respect an individual's stated pronouns, as using the correct pronouns is a basic sign of respect and affirms their gender identity. If you are unsure of someone's pronouns, it's always best to politely ask.
It's also important to remember that some individuals use pronouns other than "she/her" (e.g., "he/him," "they/them," or other neopronouns). Always use the pronouns that a person indicates are correct for them, regardless of your assumptions based on their appearance or name. Misgendering someone by using the wrong pronouns can be hurtful and invalidating.
What's the difference between "she" and "her"?
"She" and "her" are both third-person singular feminine pronouns, but they function differently in a sentence. "She" is a *subject* pronoun, meaning it performs the action of the verb. "Her" is an *object* pronoun, meaning it receives the action of the verb or is the object of a preposition.
To further clarify, think of it this way: "she" is used when the pronoun is *doing* something, whereas "her" is used when something is *being done to* her or when she is part of a prepositional phrase. For example, in the sentence "She gave the book to her," "she" is the subject who is doing the giving, and "her" is the indirect object receiving the book. Consider these additional examples: "She is a doctor" (she is the subject). "I saw her yesterday" (her is the direct object of "saw"). "The book belongs to her" (her is the object of the preposition "to"). Confusing them can lead to grammatically incorrect sentences, so understanding their roles as subject and object is crucial for proper usage.What are alternative pronouns to "she" and "her"?
Alternative pronouns to "she" and "her" are pronouns used by individuals who do not identify as female or who prefer not to be referred to using traditionally gendered pronouns. The most common alternative is "they/them/their," used as singular pronouns. Other alternatives include neopronouns, like "ze/zir/zirself" and "xe/xem/xyr," although these are less widely used and understood.
The increasing visibility and acceptance of non-binary and gender non-conforming individuals have led to a greater awareness and utilization of alternative pronouns. Using someone's correct pronouns is a sign of respect and affirmation of their identity. It's important to note that pronoun usage is personal, and it's always best to ask someone what their preferred pronouns are rather than assuming.
While "they/them/their" functions grammatically as plural pronouns, using them in the singular is now widely accepted, both colloquially and in formal writing. The singular "they" has a long history of usage in the English language when referring to an individual of unknown or unspecified gender. Neopronouns, on the other hand, are relatively new and may require explanation when used. Resources are available online that provide guidance on pronoun usage and etiquette to promote inclusive language practices.
How do I ask someone what pronouns (like "she/her") they use?
The simplest and most direct way to ask someone their pronouns is to say something like, "What pronouns do you use?" or "What are your pronouns?" You can also share your own pronouns first to create a more welcoming environment, for example, "Hi, I'm [Your Name], and I use she/her pronouns. What about you?"
Asking for someone's pronouns is a sign of respect. It acknowledges that you understand gender identity is diverse and that you don't want to assume someone's pronouns based on their appearance. It helps avoid misgendering, which can be hurtful and invalidating. Making it a habit to ask pronouns helps create a more inclusive and respectful environment for everyone.
There are several situations where asking for pronouns might be appropriate. When you meet someone new, whether it's in a professional or social setting. In introductions at the beginning of a meeting or presentation. You can also include your pronouns in your email signature, social media profiles, or name tag to normalize the practice and encourage others to share theirs. Remember to be respectful and accepting of the pronouns someone shares, even if they are different from what you expected.
Is using "she/her" different in formal versus informal settings?
No, the meaning of "she/her" pronouns does not change between formal and informal settings. "She/her" are third-person singular feminine pronouns used to refer to a woman or female-identifying person. The choice to use them is about respecting someone's gender identity and preferred form of address, and that respect is fundamental regardless of the context.
While the *formality* of your overall language might shift (e.g., using more complex sentence structures or avoiding slang in formal situations), the core purpose and meaning of pronouns remain consistent. Pronouns are not inherently formal or informal; their function is to accurately and respectfully refer to an individual. Misusing someone’s pronouns, whether in a boardroom or a casual conversation, is always disrespectful, even if unintentional. Therefore, it is important to always use someone's correct pronouns once you know them.
In any setting, if you are unsure of someone's pronouns, it is always best to politely ask. In some formal environments, it might be appropriate to include your own pronouns when introducing yourself (e.g., "Hello, I'm [Your Name], and my pronouns are he/him"). This normalizes the practice and encourages others to share their pronouns as well. The key is to approach the topic with respect and a genuine desire to use the correct pronouns.
Hopefully, this has cleared up any confusion about the pronouns "she" and "her"! Thanks for reading, and feel free to swing by again if you've got any other grammar questions or just want to brush up on your English skills. We're always happy to help!